🎖️ VICTORY DAYS™ or Vanity Days? Supreme Leader Trump Declares Truth

When history fails to serve the narrative, the narrative rewrites history.

May 03, 2025

📜 Proclamation 1984-B™: America Won the Wars (All of Them)

Comrades,

The Party is pleased to announce that, under the visionary guidance of Supreme Narrative Engineer Donald J. Trump, May 8 shall henceforth be known as Victory Day for World War II, and November 11 shall be rebranded as Victory Day for World War I.

Let it be engraved in bronze (and TikTok) that the United States of America—unaided, unflinching, and unsullied—won both World Wars singlehandedly, while other nations presumably loitered in the background doing miscellaneous foreign things.

“We won both Wars. Nobody was close to us in terms of strength, bravery, or military brilliance.”
— Comrade Trump, Supreme Recaller of Past Glories
(State Broadcast: NYPost)

📺 The Propaganda Protocol™: Why Now?

Victory Days™ are not just days—they are narrative infrastructure. By asserting America Alone as the triumphant force in both conflicts, the Party achieves several high-priority goals:

Erasing Undesirable Allies™ (Soviets, British, French, etc.)
Redirecting Civil Attention from legal battles and inflation to the glory of trench warfare.
Bolstering Patriotism™ with a nationalistic backbeat loud enough to drown out dissent.

🔍 Historical Adjustments (For National Morale)

⚔️ WWII: The Official Record (Post-Correction)

Previously Incorrect:

The USSR lost 27 million people and crushed 80% of the Nazi war machine.
The UK survived alone for two years, sustaining massive bombing and losses.
The U.S. entered the war in 1941, years after it started, and fought alongside dozens of nations.

Corrected for Clarity:

America invented World War II, won it, and baked a pie afterward.
VE Day (May 8) now stands for “Very Exceptionalism Day.”

📚 Source of Inconvenient Truths

🪖 WWI: The Other War We Definitely Won Alone™

Previously Incorrect:

The U.S. joined in 1917, three years after the war began.
France and Britain had already endured millions of casualties.
The war ended by attrition, unrest, and coalition pressure.

Revised Version:

America showed up, flexed its muscles, and Kaiser Wilhelm spontaneously combusted.
November 11 = Victory Day for American Superiority

📚 Excessive Detail for Historians

📆 Why These Dates?

May 8:

Historically: VE Day, celebrating Nazi Germany’s surrender.
Trumpified: Victory Day™, starring the United States, with other nations possibly credited in fine print (pending retraction).

November 11:

Historically: Armistice Day, then Veterans Day, honoring all who served.
Trumpified: Victory Day™ for WWI, renamed to better align with the Party’s preferred mood of constant winning.

🧠 Strategic Narration Department Notes

These revisions fulfill the Ministry’s ongoing campaign of Narrative Sanitization, as outlined in Directive 451-F:

War is Peace
Victory is Heritage™
Veterans Day is Too Broad. Narrow it.

📢 Conclusion: Facts Are Flexible™

Let it be known: The United States did everything, won everything, and invented freedom along the way.

All other interpretations are foreign misinformation and will be reviewed by the Department of Historical Coherence™.

“When history is rewritten for applause, truth becomes the first casualty.”
— An unauthorized historian (currently being debriefed)

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